ExFic 15: Roger
“Why can’t we go with you?” Rion demanded.
“Because it’s too dangerous,” Katrina replied.
“Isn’t that why they told you not to go?” Jaime questioned.
“To be technical, nobody told Katrina not to go,” Kumiho explained. “She was just told not to go with Berg. You two, on the other hand, are being explicitly told not to leave town or go near the Dionysus Engine until we get back.”
“Give us one good reason,” Rion said.
“And don’t say, ‘It’s too dangerous’,” Jaime added. “’Cause that’s not good enough.”
Katrina turned around, bringing the group to a halt. She and Kumiho, who had changed into camouflage shirt and shorts, had been followed by Rion and Jaime for the past few blocks. She glanced down at Wearwolf at by her ankle as she adjusted her backpack.
“Because someone has to cover for us while we’re gone,” she said. “Otherwise, we’ll be in big trouble.”
“Isn’t your mother psychic?” Rion asked. “She should already know what you’re about to do.”
“That doesn’t mean she’ll tell anyone else,” Kumiho replied. “Besides…” She took off her own backpack and began rummaging through it, causing Mysticat to drop from her shoulder. “I need you two to watch something for me. If I don’t come back, I want it to be in safe hands.”
Kumiho produced a plush duck and pressed it into Rion’s hands.
“What is it?” Rion asked.
“It’s my Lucky Ducky,” Kumiho answered. To Rion’s blank expression, she added, “You won it for me at the State Fair seven years ago…? It’s been my most cherished toy ever since…? I used to carry it around all the time until I was fourteen…?”
Rion shrugged.
“How can you not remember any of that!?” Kumiho shrieked, whapping Rion over the head with the duck. “I made it call you ‘Daddy’ over sixteen-thousand times! I told everyone that story every chance I got! How could you possibly forget it!?”
“I dunno,” Rion replied, holding his arms up to block further blows. “I guess it didn’t really stand out that much.”
“I don’t really remember the duck, either,” Katrina said.
“I remember the duck,” Jaime said, sheepishly raising a hand. “Kinda.”
“Do humans always place such high value on material possessions?” Wearwolf inquired.
Mysticat meowed condescendingly.
Hanging her head in despair, Kumiho said, “The sad thing is, I knew he’d forget about it.”
“Look, I’ll watch it for you if it means that much to you,” Rion said, reaching out for the duck.
“Nope, too late,” Kumiho said, turning around to keep the duck from his reach. “If the duck means so little to you, I don’t want you baby-sitting it.”
“Hey, I’m sorry, all right?” Rion said. “Just give me the duck!”
“Don’t do it, Rion!” Jaime exclaimed. “She’s just trying to trick you into staying behind!”
“Of course!” Rion exclaimed, recoiling. “How could I fall for such an obvious ploy? You probably made the whole thing up!”
“What!? Why would I make up something like this!?” Kumiho exclaimed, her face red with irritation.
“Wait, I remember now!” Katrina said with a snap of her fingers. “No, wait, no, that was a pig.”
“How do you confuse a duck with a pig?” Wearwolf asked.
“You’re taking the duck whether you want it or not!” Kumiho growled, shoving the duck into Rion’s hands.
“A duck will not keep me from this mission!” Rion proclaimed, shoving the duck back into Kumiho’s hand.
“Are you two going to stop fighting on my lawn, or do I have to turn the hose on you?”
They looked up to see a young man on a bright yellow horse standing in the street. He had hair the color of the setting sun, and skin tanned to match. He wore blue jeans and a flannel shirt, but the athletic physique they concealed had long since been etched into Katrina’s memory. Corny as it even seemed to her, she couldn’t help but be jealous of the red-haired girl riding behind him, her arms gingerly wrapped around his waist, her head lazily resting against his shoulders. If only Katrina could cut that girl out of this picture and paste herself in her place. It wasn’t something Katrina had any right to express, and it seriously pissed her off.
“Hey, Katrina,” he said with a pearly-white smile. “Hey, Kumiho. Hey, Rion. Hey, Jaime.”
“Hey, Roger!” Katrina replied enthusiastically.
“Hey,” Kumiho echoed amusedly.
“Hey,” Rion replied in shock.
“Hey,” Jaime repeated.
“Hey, Kumiho,” the girl riding behind him said sleepily. “Hey, Katrina. Hey, Jaime. Hey, Rion.”
“Hello, Becky,” Katrina grumbled.
“Hey,” Kumiho echoed amusedly.
“Hey,” Rion replied in shock.
“Hey,” Jaime repeated.
The horse they were riding whinnied.
“Hey, eStallion,” Katrina said.
“Hey,” Kumiho echoed amusedly.
“Hey,” Rion replied in shock.
“Hey,” Jaime repeated.
“And this is Bootsy,” Kumiho said, proudly holding up her Mysticat. Bootsy meowed in greeting.
“Hey, Bootsy,” Roger said.
“Hey,” Becky replied sleepily.
“Hey,” Rion replied in shock.
“Hey,” Jaime repeated.
“Oh, hey, this is Wearwolf,” Katrina said, gesturing down to her partner.
“Hey, Wearwolf,” Roger said.
“Hey,” Becky replied sleepily.
“Hey,” Rion replied in shock.
“Hey,” Jaime repeated.
“Now that we’ve run that joke into the ground,” Roger said, “It’s great to finally be back. A lot more has changed than I figured. Sure wish I was there to see it.”
“Well what the Hell kept you away so long then!?” Katrina blurted out. “What the Hell could you two have been doing all this time!?”
Roger and Becky looked at each other and started giggling.
“Well, if you must know…” Roger started.
“Nevermind, honeymoon stuff,” Katrina interrupted. “Forget I asked. I don’t want to know.”
“It’s no problem,” Becky said. “I don’t mind.”
“Nuh-uh, no way,” Katrina said. “Don’t want to hear it.”
“But we have videos and everything,” Roger said.
“Yeah, no thank you,” Katrina said. Quite frankly, the very thought of them… together… was enough to give her hives. “I don’t need to see it.”
“Seriously, though,” Roger said, “Your mother said we had to arrive at this time on this day to help you shadow that Chimera Knight. Berg, right?”
“So this is my mother’s fault!?” Katrina exclaimed. “I can’t believe she did this!”
“I don’t understand how she can see so far into the future so well,” Kumiho commented. “The few visions I get that far off are so vague…”
“I’m sure it’ll come to you eventually,” Roger said as he dismounted. “Anyway, it wasn’t just your mother that kept us away so long. You wouldn’t believe the delays we had. It was a major push just to get here this early.”
“But six months?” Katrina demanded.
“Well, I’d be lying if I said we didn’t enjoy ourselves,” Roger said with a smirk. “There were quite a few adventures to be had. Ain’t that right, Becky?”
“Oh, yeah,” Becky said, stretching her arms. “Mountains of adventure. Some canyons, too, I think. You’re not running off on another one so soon, are you?”
“’Fraid so,” Roger said. “I have to go right away or I’ll miss everything.”
“All right,” Becky said, sliding off eStallion’s back. “I’ll be waiting for you in the bedroom. I’m too tired to cook anything, so if you want to eat anything you better bring a pizza.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Roger said. “eStallion, you stay here, too. Last thing we need on a stealth mission is a road-weary horse.”
eStallion snorted, then followed Becky into the house.
“Rion,” Roger said.
“What?” Rion asked.
“You and Jaime stay here and edit my honeymoon videos,” Roger said.
“Whoa, that sounds a little personal,” Rion replied.
“No worries,” Roger said. “Just avoid the disks marked ‘X’ if you don’t want to get an eyeful.”
“Why am I doing this?” Rion asked.
Roger looked around confidentially, then leaned closer to Rion and whispered, “Look, it’s no secret Katrina has it in for Becky. Maybe if you can expose Becky’s weak points, Katrina would be very appreciative, if you know what I mean.”
“You’re preying on my feelings for Katrina to convince me to prey on her jealousy?” Rion remarked. “Do you seriously think I believe I would fall for that?”
“Yes,” Roger answered.
“Why would you even suggest I go against your wife?” Rion asked.
“Bros before hoes, right?” Roger answered, playfully punching Rion in the stomach. “Besides, if either you or Jaime follow us, I’m kicking both your asses. Get it?”
“Got it,” Rion confirmed.
“Good,” Roger said. Turning back to Kumiho and Katrina, he said, “Let’s roll, girls. We’ve got a knight to tail.”
“Because it’s too dangerous,” Katrina replied.
“Isn’t that why they told you not to go?” Jaime questioned.
“To be technical, nobody told Katrina not to go,” Kumiho explained. “She was just told not to go with Berg. You two, on the other hand, are being explicitly told not to leave town or go near the Dionysus Engine until we get back.”
“Give us one good reason,” Rion said.
“And don’t say, ‘It’s too dangerous’,” Jaime added. “’Cause that’s not good enough.”
Katrina turned around, bringing the group to a halt. She and Kumiho, who had changed into camouflage shirt and shorts, had been followed by Rion and Jaime for the past few blocks. She glanced down at Wearwolf at by her ankle as she adjusted her backpack.
“Because someone has to cover for us while we’re gone,” she said. “Otherwise, we’ll be in big trouble.”
“Isn’t your mother psychic?” Rion asked. “She should already know what you’re about to do.”
“That doesn’t mean she’ll tell anyone else,” Kumiho replied. “Besides…” She took off her own backpack and began rummaging through it, causing Mysticat to drop from her shoulder. “I need you two to watch something for me. If I don’t come back, I want it to be in safe hands.”
Kumiho produced a plush duck and pressed it into Rion’s hands.
“What is it?” Rion asked.
“It’s my Lucky Ducky,” Kumiho answered. To Rion’s blank expression, she added, “You won it for me at the State Fair seven years ago…? It’s been my most cherished toy ever since…? I used to carry it around all the time until I was fourteen…?”
Rion shrugged.
“How can you not remember any of that!?” Kumiho shrieked, whapping Rion over the head with the duck. “I made it call you ‘Daddy’ over sixteen-thousand times! I told everyone that story every chance I got! How could you possibly forget it!?”
“I dunno,” Rion replied, holding his arms up to block further blows. “I guess it didn’t really stand out that much.”
“I don’t really remember the duck, either,” Katrina said.
“I remember the duck,” Jaime said, sheepishly raising a hand. “Kinda.”
“Do humans always place such high value on material possessions?” Wearwolf inquired.
Mysticat meowed condescendingly.
Hanging her head in despair, Kumiho said, “The sad thing is, I knew he’d forget about it.”
“Look, I’ll watch it for you if it means that much to you,” Rion said, reaching out for the duck.
“Nope, too late,” Kumiho said, turning around to keep the duck from his reach. “If the duck means so little to you, I don’t want you baby-sitting it.”
“Hey, I’m sorry, all right?” Rion said. “Just give me the duck!”
“Don’t do it, Rion!” Jaime exclaimed. “She’s just trying to trick you into staying behind!”
“Of course!” Rion exclaimed, recoiling. “How could I fall for such an obvious ploy? You probably made the whole thing up!”
“What!? Why would I make up something like this!?” Kumiho exclaimed, her face red with irritation.
“Wait, I remember now!” Katrina said with a snap of her fingers. “No, wait, no, that was a pig.”
“How do you confuse a duck with a pig?” Wearwolf asked.
“You’re taking the duck whether you want it or not!” Kumiho growled, shoving the duck into Rion’s hands.
“A duck will not keep me from this mission!” Rion proclaimed, shoving the duck back into Kumiho’s hand.
“Are you two going to stop fighting on my lawn, or do I have to turn the hose on you?”
They looked up to see a young man on a bright yellow horse standing in the street. He had hair the color of the setting sun, and skin tanned to match. He wore blue jeans and a flannel shirt, but the athletic physique they concealed had long since been etched into Katrina’s memory. Corny as it even seemed to her, she couldn’t help but be jealous of the red-haired girl riding behind him, her arms gingerly wrapped around his waist, her head lazily resting against his shoulders. If only Katrina could cut that girl out of this picture and paste herself in her place. It wasn’t something Katrina had any right to express, and it seriously pissed her off.
“Hey, Katrina,” he said with a pearly-white smile. “Hey, Kumiho. Hey, Rion. Hey, Jaime.”
“Hey, Roger!” Katrina replied enthusiastically.
“Hey,” Kumiho echoed amusedly.
“Hey,” Rion replied in shock.
“Hey,” Jaime repeated.
“Hey, Kumiho,” the girl riding behind him said sleepily. “Hey, Katrina. Hey, Jaime. Hey, Rion.”
“Hello, Becky,” Katrina grumbled.
“Hey,” Kumiho echoed amusedly.
“Hey,” Rion replied in shock.
“Hey,” Jaime repeated.
The horse they were riding whinnied.
“Hey, eStallion,” Katrina said.
“Hey,” Kumiho echoed amusedly.
“Hey,” Rion replied in shock.
“Hey,” Jaime repeated.
“And this is Bootsy,” Kumiho said, proudly holding up her Mysticat. Bootsy meowed in greeting.
“Hey, Bootsy,” Roger said.
“Hey,” Becky replied sleepily.
“Hey,” Rion replied in shock.
“Hey,” Jaime repeated.
“Oh, hey, this is Wearwolf,” Katrina said, gesturing down to her partner.
“Hey, Wearwolf,” Roger said.
“Hey,” Becky replied sleepily.
“Hey,” Rion replied in shock.
“Hey,” Jaime repeated.
“Now that we’ve run that joke into the ground,” Roger said, “It’s great to finally be back. A lot more has changed than I figured. Sure wish I was there to see it.”
“Well what the Hell kept you away so long then!?” Katrina blurted out. “What the Hell could you two have been doing all this time!?”
Roger and Becky looked at each other and started giggling.
“Well, if you must know…” Roger started.
“Nevermind, honeymoon stuff,” Katrina interrupted. “Forget I asked. I don’t want to know.”
“It’s no problem,” Becky said. “I don’t mind.”
“Nuh-uh, no way,” Katrina said. “Don’t want to hear it.”
“But we have videos and everything,” Roger said.
“Yeah, no thank you,” Katrina said. Quite frankly, the very thought of them… together… was enough to give her hives. “I don’t need to see it.”
“Seriously, though,” Roger said, “Your mother said we had to arrive at this time on this day to help you shadow that Chimera Knight. Berg, right?”
“So this is my mother’s fault!?” Katrina exclaimed. “I can’t believe she did this!”
“I don’t understand how she can see so far into the future so well,” Kumiho commented. “The few visions I get that far off are so vague…”
“I’m sure it’ll come to you eventually,” Roger said as he dismounted. “Anyway, it wasn’t just your mother that kept us away so long. You wouldn’t believe the delays we had. It was a major push just to get here this early.”
“But six months?” Katrina demanded.
“Well, I’d be lying if I said we didn’t enjoy ourselves,” Roger said with a smirk. “There were quite a few adventures to be had. Ain’t that right, Becky?”
“Oh, yeah,” Becky said, stretching her arms. “Mountains of adventure. Some canyons, too, I think. You’re not running off on another one so soon, are you?”
“’Fraid so,” Roger said. “I have to go right away or I’ll miss everything.”
“All right,” Becky said, sliding off eStallion’s back. “I’ll be waiting for you in the bedroom. I’m too tired to cook anything, so if you want to eat anything you better bring a pizza.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Roger said. “eStallion, you stay here, too. Last thing we need on a stealth mission is a road-weary horse.”
eStallion snorted, then followed Becky into the house.
“Rion,” Roger said.
“What?” Rion asked.
“You and Jaime stay here and edit my honeymoon videos,” Roger said.
“Whoa, that sounds a little personal,” Rion replied.
“No worries,” Roger said. “Just avoid the disks marked ‘X’ if you don’t want to get an eyeful.”
“Why am I doing this?” Rion asked.
Roger looked around confidentially, then leaned closer to Rion and whispered, “Look, it’s no secret Katrina has it in for Becky. Maybe if you can expose Becky’s weak points, Katrina would be very appreciative, if you know what I mean.”
“You’re preying on my feelings for Katrina to convince me to prey on her jealousy?” Rion remarked. “Do you seriously think I believe I would fall for that?”
“Yes,” Roger answered.
“Why would you even suggest I go against your wife?” Rion asked.
“Bros before hoes, right?” Roger answered, playfully punching Rion in the stomach. “Besides, if either you or Jaime follow us, I’m kicking both your asses. Get it?”
“Got it,” Rion confirmed.
“Good,” Roger said. Turning back to Kumiho and Katrina, he said, “Let’s roll, girls. We’ve got a knight to tail.”
posted by Nicholas DeVivo | 5:26 PM
1 Comments:
Okay, I'm finally at the stuff I wrote this semester. This is actually the second version of something I wrote at the end of last semester but didn't post because I lost it in a computer crash. That was fine, considering it wasn't all that good to begin with. Roger apparently came off as a bit phoney, so I was going to rewrite the whole thing anyway.
Questions:
1. Does the joke with the greeting last too long?
2. Do you think it's weird that Roger has Rion use his honeymoon videos to cast his own wife in a bad light?
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